Homer Cleo
by mikamike
Summary: Homer thinks he's Psychic Which makes Marge Psycho


Homer was sleeping in his bed. He started saying "Maude, what are you doing here isn't it cold". Marge turned on the light and gently shock homer as she said "Homey, get up". Homer then said, " So this is what it feels like to be touched by an angel". She then shook him again and said "Get up" He looked at Marge and said "Maude what did you do with your hair, It's so familiar". Marge said "Maybe, because it's your wife's". Homer said "No, No that's not it I think it was that Betty from the Flintstones". Marge said, "No it is me, Marge".  
Homer said " Oh, Then where did Maude go" Marge Said " Homer; this is the eighth time you talked to the no longer in the past 3 days". Homer said " Hey that's not true one time I was talking to Jerry Springer". Marge Said " We Were Their why do you think Bart has a bruise the shape of a chair". Homer said " Oh right, it slipped honestly. Anyway it was a lazyboy so it's indent could be identification". Marge said, " Fine goodnight". Homer then shut off the light and said " So where did Maude go"?  
The next morning homer was eating breakfast and said to everyone "Last night I had a conversation with someone". Bart said "Another dead singer or was it a dog you talked to like that lady on TV who got 3rd degree burns after relying on her pug Lassio to save her from the fire in her barn". Marge said "Yah, I heard about that and if she dies the dog will be accused of murder in the 1st degree" Homer said "Marge your right I should see if these conversations I have are visions like that man on Beyond". Homer got up and left.  
Marge said "Kids did I say anything like that". Lisa gasped and said "Mom, your right were gonna be late for the bus". Lisa and Bart then left. Marge looked at Maggie and said, "At least I have you my little gem". Then Maggie jumped out of her highchair and crawled away. Marge then thought got up and said " Maybe Maude's under the bed. Hmmm"?  
Homer was waiting in a line that said "Could those, odd and vivid dreams be happening because your psychic, or are you just a mentally challenged person." A man at a desk asked Mr. Skinners who was in front of Homer "What is my half brothers, cousins, dogs name." Mr. Skinner said " Uh, Spike". The man said "No. Umpalumpa Jr. is his name. You are just an idiotic moron who has no life!" Then Mr. Skinner walked away mumbling "Stupid". The man at the desk then yelled nicely " Sir, you forgot your complimentary pen or leash for a troublesome dog or son.".  
Homer then walked up. The man said, "What's your name." Homer answered, "Homer J. Simpson sheesh this test is easy." The man then said " What is my Dads other sons, aunts daughters, brothers dogs name." Homer said " Uh Umpalumpa Jr." The man gasped and said "Oh my gosh, now I am thinking of a number between 7 and 9". Homer answered "8". The man handed Homer a paper and said, "This proves you are psychic". Homer took it and said " Wow three degrees I've heard about already, now about that leash." The man chuckled and said "Troublesome dog." Homer said "No"  
Marge was in her room talking to a sock puppet that was on her hand. She said, "How's it going Scotton." She said pretending to be the puppet "Quite well, thank you, you pretty women". Marge Then started singing "Pretty women walking down the street". Then she did the next verse only pretending to be the sock.  
That night everybody but Bart and homer were at the table. Marge said " Lisa, Where's your father and Bart." Lisa said "In the backyard building a swami tent.". Marge said "This is probably just another of is assorted phases, isn't that right Scotton". She then said with the sock "Yes you intelligent women." Lisa shrugged and said, "It's better than his midlife crisis. I couldn't stand to change one more diaper." Marge Then said, "How's the food hone." Lisa said " It's Juba..." Marge Interrupted "I'm talking to Scotton." Lisa Said "Mom You know he's sock right." Marge yelled, "Do you Poindexter?" Lisa Whispered "No ma'am. I don't"  
Bart and Lisa were in Bart's room. Bart said "Why are you in here" Lisa Said "To talk" Bart said scrubbing his nose "That was fun now go hug a dictionary". Lisa Said, "I don't hug dictionaries I Just make sure they feel needed. Anyway Bartso mom and Dad are both mentally ill so this will be a tough week okay". Bart said, "Did you call me Bartso" Lisa Yelled "Okay"! Bart Sniffed and said "Okay". Lisa said " This is going to take sensitivity and at all costs say focused". Bart then said, "Okay, Do I have a booger"?  
Bart said "Obviously dads our biggest problem" Lisa said "What! Moms like Martha Stuart on pep pills." Bart Said "Dad predicted the next time I would fart". Lisa Said "That's better than singing with a sock" Bart said "That's not even that bad". Lisa said "She was once singing Mulan Rouge". Bart Said, "What's that"? Lisa said "That's the video where Christina Aguilera wearing more clothes then usual". Bart said "Oh, right". Lisa said, "The point is their are creatures beyond that door that are frightening, confusing, and strange. Bart Said "Not to mention Mom and Dad." Lisa Walked out and said, "By the way you have a booger the shape of Florida". Bart said "Thanks".  
Lenny and Homer were in the tent. Homer said "Dear Lenny you will, have a future in which you often visit two girls who get stuck in fold up mattresses and get a new friend Squigy." Lenny said "That happened to me already". Homer said, "History is going to repeat itself." Homer then said "Lenny my dear Friendith. Namith assign on the zodiac". Lenny said "Uh I think theirs one called spegettious." Homer said, "I predict the royal Homer needith food session over." Lenny said "But I hardly got anything out this" Homer thought, took a plunger, and said, "I dub thee". Lenny said, "Can you do that." Homer ran away and said "Find someone who says I can't and send them to me."  
Marge said to him as he ate his sandwich "Homer I'm getting tired of this psychic mumbo-jumbo your acting so strange" Homer took an oven mitt put it on his hand and said "Sure, I'm the nut. Isn't that right Mr. Mittenth" Marge said I only do that because you spend more time talking to your patients and dead people than me." Homer said " There Are Two ways to fixith that problem. Either become my patient or play dodge ball with a chainsawth". Marge yelled, "Just shut upith". Homer yelled back "Maybe I willith".  
Homer then poured a glass of milk and spilt some over his feet and said "D'oh". Then he went in the bedroom put a normal sock on one foot and Scotton on the other. He said to himself "I predict this hurts." When Bart saw him walking he laughed and say "Hi Grandpa". Then Lisa Rammed Bart to the floor and Yelled "be more caring and nice like me". Then Marge ran down The Stairs yelling, "Where's Scotton?".  
The next morning Homer was in the tent talking to Carl. Homer said name a random zodiac sign. Carl said "Uh, Capricorn". Homer then said " mmmmmm.. Capricorn". He then got up told Carl "I dub thee." and ran. Carl then said "Porque?"  
Bart then yelled "Dad come here". Mr. Flanders was there with Lenny. Lenny said "Homer he says you can't dub me". Homer said "Whatever. Flanders I've been meaning to talk to you. I saw your wife in one of my visions." Mr. Flanders said "What". Homer said "Yah she was bald and had a big freckle on it". Mr. Flanders gasped and said, "No one knows about that you must really be psychic"  
Bart said "You got that from me I told you that when I gave her a crew cut while she was never mind". Mr. Flanders said, "So you are a phony Homer". Homer gave Mr. Flanders the degree and said "read em' and weep," Mr. Flanders then said "Read the fine print Homer". He took it and said "I'll have you know I don't swing that way when it comes to font okay, no one letter looks better except maybe Q". Lenny then said, "He means the small words." Homer read it out Loud "You are a moron." He then said, "Thanks for making me feel like a moron". Then he ran in the house crying. Lenny then said, "He seems heartbroken". Mr. Flanders then said "Who wants to see a movie on me". Bart and Lenny both said "Me".  
In the house he ran to Marge. He said "I'm an idiot please forgive me." Marge said "Of coarse Homey. Then Maggie started crying. Marge yelled "Lisa take care of that." Homer said, "Let's go somewhere we can be alone". Marge said "Where"?  
Homer and Marge ended up in the tent. Homer said "Marvin Gaye again what are you doing back." Marge said "Did you have a dream with Marvin Gaye." Homer said "Yes, you'd be surprised the kinds of things he wanted talk about." Marge said, "Let's take off our shoes and get comfy". Homer said "Sure" Then Marge yelled "Scotton!" 


End file.
